Is your desk job a rat race? Stay armed and ready with the Under Desk Gun Holster! (Don’t worry, it’s for your *actual* handgun, not your stapler. Probably.) Because sometimes, spreadsheets are the real enemy.

Behold! The Thai Moon Knife, forged by mischievous moon spirits (probably). Sharper than a ninja’s wit, this artisan steel blade slices through anything – except boredom. Comes with a bamboo case, because even mystical knives need a stylish home.

Tame that magnificent beard beast! This beard straightener’s three heat settings will banish frizz faster than a squirrel up a tree. Luxurious, hell-yes beard? Consider it done. Prepare for compliments—and maybe some bewildered stares. Because, seriously, who doesn’t love a perfectly straight beard?

Yo, teach those little rugrats some respect (and coloring skills!) with these gangsta rap coloring books. 48 pages of Biggie, Eazy-E, and more—because even hip-hop legends gotta stay within the lines *sometimes*. Warning: May inspire surprisingly insightful rhymes.