Who’s It For?
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Wallet-Sized Ruler? It’s a Scale-y Situation!
$12.95 Buy at Amazon.comDitch the dusty textbooks, engineers! The Pocket Engineer is your new best friend – a credit card-sized brain boost. Equations? Conversions? *POOF* Gone. Now go build something amazing (or at least, pass your next exam).
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Bang! Your Pleasure, Redefined.
$14.95 Buy at Amazon.comUnleash your inner maestro! “Bang!” isn’t just a sound, it’s a guide to self-pleasure so good, you’ll be composing symphonies of sensation. Forget sheet music; this manual’s all about hitting the right notes (and… other things). Get ready to conduct your own personal orchestra of ecstasy!
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Alexa, Drive Me Crazy (In a Good Way!)
$49.99 Buy at Amazon.comAlexa, are we there yet? No? Blast some tunes then! Transform your car into a rolling smart-home with Amazon Echo Auto. Hands-free calls, music, and even smart home control – all while keeping your eyes on the road (mostly). Because who needs a co-pilot when you have Alexa?
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Hangin’ Loose (and Heavy): A Weighty Matter
CHECK IT OUTUnleash your inner superhero (down there!). This Penis Weight Hanger isn’t just a workout buddy; it’s a testament to your unwavering commitment to… well, let’s just say *strength*. Add weight, conquer gravity, and impress yourself. (Disclaimer: May not actually make you tougher, but it’ll be a hell of a story.)
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Color Outside the Lines (and Maybe Reality)
$6.99 Buy at Amazon.comAdulting’s a b*tch? Unleash your inner Zen with “Random Fuckery,” the coloring book that’s anything BUT random. Mandalas? Check. Explicit quotes? Double check. Stress relief? Triple check. Warning: May spontaneously induce giggles.
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Beer-y Good Briefcase: Carry Your Brews in Style (and Surprise Your Friends!)
$58.00 Buy at Amazon.comShhh…it’s a briefcase! (But secretly, it’s a beer-smuggling masterpiece.) Six frosty friends await inside this executive-looking hideaway. Impress clients *or* yourself. Because adulting is hard, and beer helps.
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Dashcam: Your Car’s New Best (and Most Judgemental) Friend
CHECK IT OUTAccident? Don’t get played! This tiny dashboard camera is your new best friend. It’s like a tiny, watchful eye, silently recording all the drama (and avoiding insurance shenanigans). Because sometimes, seeing is believing (and winning!).
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Sale!
Big Questions? Mini Answers! (Whoa.)
Original price was: $28.00.$11.89Current price is: $11.89. Buy at Amazon.comHawking’s posthumous ponderings: Big questions? Check. Mind-bending theories? Check. A chance to finally understand the universe (or at least pretend to)? Double check! Grab your copy before the cosmos runs out!
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Cozy Toes? Microwaveable Slipper-ific!
$29.98 Buy at Amazon.comEscape the winter chill with these outrageously fluffy, microwaveable slippers! Prepare for pure, blissful toasty-toe ecstasy. Warning: May cause spontaneous naps and uncontrollable giggling. Slip into happiness (literally!).
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Germ-Zapping Death Ray (aka UV Sanitizing Box)
$39.99 Buy at Amazon.comGermaphobe? OCD tendencies? Just really, *really* hate germs? Then bask in the glorious, germ-killing rays of our UV Sanitizing Box! Zap those nasties and achieve peak clean – it’s like a tiny, judgmental sun for your stuff.
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Jerky & Sausage: A Meat-y Adventure Awaits!
$39.99 Buy at Amazon.comWarning: May spontaneously induce drooling. This exotic jerky & sausage gift box is a carnivore’s dream! Bison? Duck? Elk? Wild boar? Oh my! Prepare for a flavor explosion that’ll make your taste buds do the tango. Get yours before they’re all devoured!
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Sale!
Kung Fu Grip: Train Your Inner Bruce Lee (with a Ring!)
Original price was: $13.99.$12.99Current price is: $12.99. Buy at Amazon.comUnleash your inner Bruce Lee (or maybe just a slightly more coordinated you) with this Wing Chun training ring! Hone your skills, impress your friends (or enemies), and finally master the art of the perfectly placed… uh… ring. It’s 8.26 inches of pure awesomeness.
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Pepper Spray: Now a Gun Thing? Whoa.
$53.96 Buy at Amazon.comPeace of mind? Check. Surprisingly cute pepper spray? Double check! This 28-gram pocket rocket blasts a 20-foot stream of “ouch,” leaving would-be troublemakers wishing they’d chosen a different Tuesday. Because self-defense should be stylish, too.
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Mane Event: Tame That Hairline!
$19.95 Buy at Amazon.comSay goodbye to bad hair days (and DIY disasters!) This hairline grooming tool is your secret weapon for pro-level trims at home. No more awkward angles or embarrassing mistakes – just effortlessly fresh, perfectly-groomed you. Because looking good shouldn’t be a hair-raising experience.
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This Coffee’s So Strong, It Might Summon a Kraken
$16.48 Buy at Amazon.comSkip the shady back alley deals, folks! Our coffee is *that* strong. 200% stronger than regular coffee. Three-day energy? Check. Mild cardiac event risk? Possibly. Worth it? Absolutely. Embrace the jitters, embrace life!
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Plan Your Awesome: This Planner’s Got Personality!
$34.99 Buy at Amazon.comTired of being a chaotic mess? The BestSelf planner isn’t just a notebook; it’s a 13-week mission control for your brain! Prepare for laser-focused productivity (and maybe a tiny existential crisis…in a good way!). Order yours before your to-do list eats you alive.
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Key-tastic! Your Keys’ New Tiny Palace
$14.99 Buy at Amazon.comTired of thigh-stabbing keys? Our Key Holder is here to save the day (and your legs!). It’s like a tiny, stylish key apartment building – no more unsightly bulges, just organized key bliss. Finally, a keychain upgrade worthy of your… well, keys.
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Sling Your Shot at Adventure!
$46.99 Buy at Amazon.comUnleash your inner Robin Hood (or just your inner child!) with The Scout Hunting Slingshot. This ain’t your grandpappy’s slingshot – it’s American-made, super sturdy, and fits hands of all sizes. Prepare for epic backyard battles (or incredibly accurate pebble-launching).
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Gap No More: The Car Seat’s New Best Friend!
$24.99 Buy at Amazon.comIs your car’s center console a bottomless pit of crumbs and forgotten treasures? Fear no more! This Gap Catcher tames that beast, rescuing your dignity (and your car keys!) one perfectly-placed silicone savior at a time. Goodbye, mystery abyss! Hello, organized chaos!
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Pizza Oven Grill: Get Your Slice of Outdoor Awesome!
$144.95 Buy at Amazon.comSwap sad BBQ burgers for pizza perfection! This pizza oven grill kit turns your kettle grill into a coal-fired pizza palace. Say goodbye to frozen pizzas and hello to Sunday BBQs where the only thing frozen is your margarita. (Pizza not included, sadly.)